No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.
This is a work of fiction.
ISBN: 9798334324145
Characters:
Gage Michaels – A typical tall, dark, and handsome twenty-something jock-type with a flair for mysteries. And, for stating the obvious …
Dino Phillips – Circuit-boy poster boy-type and boyfriend to J.T. Jeffries. This nineteen year old doesn’t have much to say or do much, he’s no E.F. Hutton but when he does say or act out people take notice. Has a bit of a yellow-streak when it comes to dealing with some of life’s more spooky situations.
Sandy Sloane – A thirty-something, eyeglass bearing, lipstick-wearing lesbian with an I.Q. greater than her breast, waist, hip, and shoe sizes combined. Give her a clue and she’ll find the missing pieces to any puzzle.
Chrissy Tracy – Glamour girl extraordinaire companion to Sandy Sloane. She’s the pretty one of the pair … a bit prone to crisis; Chrissy somehow always lands her thirty-year-old shapely figure on her ¼ inch heels just fine.
J.T. Jeffries – The lean-mean, surfer-dude “ish” other half to Dino Phillips. He’s a backpack toting twenty-year old. Can be on the squeamish side when it comes to danger and facing things that go “bump in the dark” – he has been known to feed his fears with a good Dagwood sandwich.
Big Bob Oakley (Gypsy Fortuneteller/the Count) – otherwise known as The Actor. A master of magic and disguise. A drag queen gone bad and wanted in 7 states for theft.
State Trooper – Called by the caretaker of Bradberry Castle to investigate some trouble up on Bradberry Cay’s mountaintop resort.
Mr. Wilcox—overseer/caretaker of Bradbury Cay’s mountaintop resort.
ACT 1
Scene 1
ALL FIVE CHARACTERS ARE SEATED AROUND A DRAPED OVAL TABLE WITH A CRYSTAL BALL IN ITS CENTER. LUGGAGE IS PILED TO ONE SIDE OF THE STAGE.
CHRISSY: I’m so glad we stopped to have our fortunes told.
SANDY: Fortune telling is all nonsense, Chrissy.
J.T.: Well, I’m glad we’re here. You want your fortune told, don’t you, Dino?
DINO: Yea. Yea.
GAGE: Oh, come on, Sandy. It’ll be fun.
ENTER A GYPSY WOMAN DRESSED IN FLOWING GARB, WEARING A TURBAN AND GOLD HOOP EARRINGS. SHE SITS AT THE “END” OF THE OVAL TABLE NEAREST TO THE CRYSTAL BALL.
GYPSY: So, you want your fortunes told. Gather ‘round my pretties. I’ll take a peak into my crystal ball (PLACES HAND ON THE BALL AND BEGINS TO RUB THE ORB) Spirits rise and spirits fall. Reveal your secrets, tell us all. (PEERS INTO THE CRYSTAL BALL) Ahhh, yes. You children are here in Bradberry Cay on a pleasure trip. (LOOKS DARKLY INTO THE CRYSTAL BALL) What is this? I see great danger if you stay in these mountains …
CHRISSY (NERVOUS): What kind of danger?
GYPSY: Evil forces from the World of the Un-Dead.
DINO (DUCKING UNDER THE TABLE): Vampires! Werewolves!
J.T.: There are no vampires and werewolves! You come back up here!
DINO PEEKS HIS HEAD ABOVE THE TABLE – BROW FURROWED
SANDY: What does your crystal ball say about Bradberry Castle? That’s where we are going.
GYPSY: Not the castle! It’s haunted! The caretaker is threatening to run away in fear after all the guests fled last night. I warn you. You will meet your doom if you go there.
LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.
Scene 2
THE “GANG” IS WALKING WITH THEIR LUGGAGE, J.T. WITH HIS EVER PRESENT BACKPACK, ALONG A TREE-LINE PATHWAY. THERE’S A FULL MOON FRAMING A CASTLE A TOP A HILL IN THE DISTANCE.
CHRISSY: Maybe we shouldn’t go to the castle. What if she’s right?
DINO (looking up from his mobile SMART phone): Yea, they say those werewolf cats come out like tonight. When the moon is full. (Jabs frantically at the SMART phone screen). What’s wrong with this stupid phone?! I hardly have any bars…
J.T. (A LITTLE NERVOUS): Yea, when the moon is full.
DINO (Irritated at his SMART phone, WAVING IT IN THE AIR): What gives? I’ve lost my entire signal!
SANDY: That’s because Bradberry Cay doesn’t have a cellphone tower. Our phones won’t work here.
DINO (Mortified): Who talked me into coming to such a primitive place! I’m totally cut off from my reality!
J.T.: It was a collective decision. You have amnesia?
DINO: I’ve had it once … or twice.
SANDY: I wish I spoke idiot so I could explain this in your own language! Dino, I bet you’re the kind of person that keeps hitting “escape” on your computer and wondering why you are still here!
J.T. (FOLDS HIS HANDS IN PRAYER): Our lager, which art in barrels, hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, at home as in tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive our spillages, as we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, but deliver us from hangovers …
CHRISSY: What is saying?
GAGE: The Beer Drinker Prayer
CHRISSY: Why is saying it?
J.T.: …for thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager, forever and ever.
GAGE: To protect us from the full moon.
SANDY: Nonsense. We can’t let a superstitious old gypsy woman scare us off from our vacation plans. We paid good money for this trip to Bradberry Castle.
GAGE: Lesbian sensibility strikes again. Besides, it’s too late to turn back … we are here (POINTS TO A CLOSED DOOR, STONED ARCHWAY THEY HAVE APPROACHED) Hello! Is any body at home?
CHRISSY: The gypsy said the caretaker got scared away.
J.T.: What a pad for the Un-Dead! Well, we can’t get in. Let’s head back down to the village and catch a ride back to the airport.
THERE’S A SUDDEN FLASH OF LIGHTNING AND CRASH OF THUNDER.
GAGE: Wait a minute! Let’s look around first.
ANOTHER FLASH OF LIGHTNING AND CRASH OF THUNDER
GAGE: Wow!
CHRISSY: Look at that. And, there’s not a cloud in the sky.
ANOTHER FLASH AND CRASH. THE ARCHWAY’S DOOR JARS OPEN
GAGE: Looks like the caretaker came back. Come on let’s go inside.
SANDY: See, everything’s all right.
THE GANG ENTERS THE ENTRANCE’S ATRIUM WHERE THERE IS A FRONT DESK. THE CARETAKER SITS NERVOUSLY BEHIND THE COUNTER.
CARETAKER: Welcome! I’m Mister Wilcox, the owner and caretaker of Bradberry Castle. You must be this weekend’s group reservations.
GAGE: Yes. We just disembarked from the ferry.
CARETAKER: So glad to see all of you decided to keep your reservation. Let me show you to your rooms…
JUST AS THE GANG GOES TO MOVE FORWARD WITH THE Mr. WILCOX TOWARD THE ATRIUM’S INNER DOOR THAT LEADS TO THE CASTLE PROPER, A CLOUD OF SMOKE FILLS THE DOORWAY AND A FIGURE DRESSED AS COUNT DRACULA MATERILAIZES
COUNT: Halt!
THE GANG FREEZES, STUNNED. Mr. WILCOX SCREAMS WITH FRIGHT.
COUNT: You are not welcome in the Castle! Go now! (POINTS THEM AWAY FROM THE DOORWAY) Or abandon all hope of ever seeing the sun again.
DINO: Is this dude for real?!
SANDY: You stop that! We’ve had reservations for this castle for over a year.
DINO: I may not be able to call out and tell anyone this, but when I do get a signal… (TAKES A PICTURE WITH HIS MOBILE PHONE): …I’m gonna post this on my Facebook page! No one’s gonna believe this …
COUNT: Go! This is your last warning (HE
COVERS HIS FACE WITH HIS CAPE AND SMOKE SWIRLS AROUND HIM – A VAMPIRE BAT FLYS AT THE GANG, SCREECHING AS IT DISAPPEARS INTO THE DARKNESS).
THE GANG AND Mr WILCOX SCREAMS AND SCATTERS TRYING TO AVOID THE VAMPIRE BAT. CHRISSY RUSHES THROUGH THE OPENED INNER DOORWAY, OBLIVIOUS AS TO WHERE SHE’S GOING.
J.T.: It’s a vampire bat!
DINO (TERRIFIED): Dude, not funny! Not funny, Dude!
THE DOORWAY CREAKS SHUT. THE IS A LOUD LOCKING SOUND.
GAGE: The door’s closing and Chrissy’s inside!
WE HEAR A MOANING AND HEAVY FOOTFALLS FOLLOWED BY CHRISSY’S SCREAM
CHRISSY (OFF-STAGE): There’s something big and creepy in here and it’s after me!
SANDY: (TRYING TO OPEN THE LOCKED DOOR). Run, Baby! Run! Mr. Wilcox you’ve got to help her! (NOTICES THAT IN ALL THE CONFUSION Mr. WILCOX HAS DISAPPEARED). Mr. Wilcox? Where are you?
WE HEAR CHRISSY’S FOOTFALLS RETREATING BEHIND THE CLOSED DOOR, FOLLOWED BY MOANING AND HEAVIER FOOTSTEPS
CHRISSY (OFF-STAGE): I’m running!
GAGE: Dino and J.T., we’ve got to get that door open!
J.T. & DINO (UNISION): We do?
SANDY: You have too! To save Chrissy!
GAGE: On three, we rush against the door…
SANDY: Why wait till three, just do it!
GAGE: Hurry before the door closes!
WITHOUT WARNING, THE GANG RUN TOWARD THE DOOR. BEFORE THEY GET THERE, THE DOOR MYSTERIOUSLY SWINGS OPEN AND THERE ARE SOUNDS OF A CRASH.
THE DOOR SLAMS SHUT. THERE’S A GROWL AND A HOWL AS THE LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.
Scene 3
INSIDE THE CASTLE. THE GANG HAS GOTTEN SEPARATED. WE SEE GAGE AND SANDY HIDING BEHIND FURNITURE IN THE LIBRARY AS THE AIR IS FILLED WITH THE SCREECH OF A VAMPIRE BAT.
GAGE: Duck, Sandy! Hide from it!
SANDY GETS DOWN ON ALL FOURS AND STARTS CRAWLING FOR COVER. AS SHE DOES, SHE BUMPS HER HEAD AND HER GLASSES ARE KNOCKED OFF HER FACE.
SANDY: Hey! My glasses! I can’t see a thing without them! (FEELING AROUND FOR THEM AS SHE CONTINUES TO CRAWL) They should be around here somewhere …
AS SANDY MOVES AROUND, A SECTION OF THE BOOKSHELVES OPENS UP AND SHE CRAWLS THROUGH. THE SECTION CLOSES AS SHE PASSES …
GAGE (STANDING UP FROM BEHIND A CHAIR AS THE VAMPIRE BAT ATTACK APPEARS TO BE CALLED OFF): Sandy? Sandy, are you all right? (MOVING AROUND THE LIBRARY) She’s gone. Like the others…
LIGHTS FADES TO BLACK.
Scene 4
THE DOUNGEON OF THE CASTLE, SANDY WANDERS IN -- STILL GROPING IN THE DARKNESS.
SANDY: Chrissy! Gage! Where are you? (SHE WANDERS OVER TO WHERE A SKELTON IS CHAINED TO A WALL) J.T. is that you over there? (FEELING AROUND THE TABLES, SHE TOUCHES INSTRUMENTS OF TORTURE) This must be a kid’s playroom. There are so many interesting toys.
THERE’S A MUFFLED YELL OFF-STAGE FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD-CURLING HOWL. A DOOR SLAMS AND THEN AN ELEVATOR SOUND …
SANDY: Somebody’s coming …
TURNING SHE TRYS TO RUN, STUMBLING AS SHE DOES TO EVENTUALLY FALL INTO AN OPENED BARREL
A DUMBWAITER DOOR OPENS IN A WALL. J.T. AND DINO FALL OUT WHIMPERING LIKE TWO SCARED PUPPIES.
DINO: Werewolf! Werewolf! It almost got us!
J.T. (SUDDENLY INTRIGUED): Hey! Look, we’re in an old torture chamber. Look over there… (POINTS TO CHAINED SKELETON) yikes! It’s a skeleton!
DINO (HEADING BACK FOR THE DUMBWAITER’S DOOR): Let’s go back in here.
J.T.: It’s just an old skeleton. He can’t hurt us.
SANDY (FROM THE BARREL): J.T.? Dino?
J.T.: Sandy? Where are you?
SANDY (STANDING UP INSIDE THE BARREL): Over here! I’m sure glad you two showed up. J.T., do you have my extra pair of glasses in your backpack?
J.T. (TURNING AROUND SO SANDY CAN GET TO THE BACKPACK AS SHE CLIMBS OUT OF THE BARREL): Sure. Bottom pocket.
SANDY: Thanks. (RETREIVING GLASSES AND PUTS THEM ON) Now that’s better (LOOKS AROUND) How did I get into this horrible room?
J.T.: I don’t know, but …
HE’S CUT SHORT BY A CRY FOR HELP THAT SOUNDS LIKS CHRISSY
DINO: Who’s that?
SANDY: It sounded like Chrissy! Come on, it came from over here …
SHE LEADS J.T. AND DINO OVER TO A CAGED DOOR. INSIDE CAN BE SEEN A TIED UP AND PREVIOUSLY GAGED CHRISSY
SANDY: It is Chrissy! Inside this caged room!
J.T.: What happened?
CHRISSY (STRUGGLING TO GET FREE OF HER BINDING ROPES): Don’t you dare laugh, but Frankenstein chased me in here. I fainted and when I woke up, I was tied up and gagged.
FROM BEHIND J.T., DINO, AND SANDY AN IRON MAIDEN OPENS AND THE COUNT SLOWLY ADVANCES ON THE TRIO FROM IT.
J.T.: Don’t worry, Chrissy, we’ll get you out of there.
DINO: Look, I found crowbar (HE HANDS THE CROWBAR TO J.T.)
AS J.T. AND SANDY WORK AT THE LOCKED CAGE DOOR, DINO NOTICES A SHADOW ADVANCING TOWARD THEM. TURNING HE SEES THE COUNT. GRABBING SOME ROPE FROM A NEARBY TABLE, DINO FORMS A LASSO AND ROPES THE COUNT JUST AS THE CAGE DOOR POPS OPEN.
COUNT: Stop this, you infidel!
J.T., SANDY, AND CHRISSY [FREED FROM HER ROPES] NOTICE WHAT DINO HAS DONE DURING THE RESCUE.
J.T.: What?! Get him over here, Dino!
DINO PILLS THE STRUGGLING COUNT OVER TO THE CAGE.
COUNT: Let go of me, you imbecile!
SANDY: Chrissy, are you all right?
CHRISSY: I’m ok
THEY KISS.
J.T.: Come on, Dino, dump the old scary face in the cage and let’s get out of here!
DINO TOSSES THE COUNT IN THE CAGE AND SLAMS THE DOOR CLOSED.
COUNT: You’ll pay for this! You haven’t escaped me yet!
J.T. (SEEING THE COUNT LOOSENING THE LASSO): Speaking of escaping… let’s get out of here!
ALL FOUR DASH THROUGH THE IRON MAIDEN AND INTO A PASSAGEWAY. THE MADIEN CLOSES AS THE LIGHTS FADE ….
Scene 5
J.T., DINO, SANDY, AND CHRISSY ARE WALKING DOWN A DARK PASSAGEWAY.
J.T.: Man, this is like dark in this tunnel.
SANDY: I can hardly see even with my glasses. Now everyone stay close (TAKING CHRISSY’S HAND) it’s getting darker.
LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK
CHRISSY: Isn’t that a crack of light up ahead?
SANDY: Yes it is.
THE STAGE LIGHTS BRIGHTEN TO SEE SANDY & CHRISSY STANDING IN AN OPENED DOORWAY INTO A STONE-WALLED ROOM INSIDE THE CASTLE.
SANDY: J.T., you better lead from now on. (WHEN THERE’S NO ANSWER … ) J.T.? Dino?
CHRISSY: They were right behind me; but, now they are gone.
GAGE (FROM OFF-STAGE): Hey, Girls!
CHRISSY: It’s Gage!
GAGE CLIMBS DOWN A LADDER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE.
GAGE: I’m glad I found you! What have you found out?
SANDY (HEADING WITH CHRISSY TOWARD GAGE): We found Chrissy in a dungeon.
GAGE: Well, I think I found a clue. (HE PULLS A PIECE OF PAPER FROM HIS POCKET).
CHRISSY: A clue? What is it?
GAGE: I wrote down a message I saw on the tower bedroom walls I was just in.
SANDY (TAKES THE PAPER): It’s from 1668. I have fooled them all, I may perish; but I’ll be as rich as King Tut! King Tut was an Egyptian. They kept their wealth after death by having it buried with them.
GAGE: This calls for a visit to the Bradberry crypt. But, first we have to find J.T. and Dino.
LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.
Scene 6
J.T. & DINO ARE RIDING A GURNEY ACROSS THE STAGE, A SHEET IS FLAPPING UNDERNEATH THEM.
J.T. (SHAKING DINO’S HAND): You did it, Dino! I think we’ve lost old square-head!
DINO: Yea, Chrissy wasn’t lying about seeing Frankenstein!
J.T.: Yep… (TAKING THE SHEET IN HAND) Now, it’s time to pop the shute.
TOGETHER DINO AND J.T. HOLD THE SHEET SO IT ACTS LIKE A SHUTE TO STOP THE GURNEY. AS THE TROLLEY STOPS, ENTER CHRISSY, SANDY, AND GAGE.
J.T.: WOW, just in time! Man, what a ride!
SANDY: J.T., what do you mean riding that cart around for the fun of it?
J.T.: Well, since you all got yourselves lost, it seemed like a good idea.
CHRISSY: Never mind all that (HOLDING UP THE CLUE-PIECE-OF-PAPER) This clue of Gage’s is the only on we have. So let’s go down to the Bradberry crypt.
J.T.: What’s a crypt?
SANDY: A crypt is a tomb where you bury people.
DINO: A tomb?! (COVERS HIMSELF WITH THE GURNEY SHEET).
J.T.: Hey! (GETTING OFF THE GURNEY) Come out from under that sheet!
DINO: I’m sick!
J.T.: You’re not sick! (STARTS HEADING AWAY WITH THE OTHERS) Ok, Dino, we’ll leave you. But, I hate to be here if that werewolf, Frankenstein, or the Count show up.
AS THE OTHERS MOVE OFF, DINO JUMPS OFF THE CART, LEAVING THE SHEET BEHIND.
DINO (CHASING AFTER THE GANG): Wait for me!
LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.
ACT 2
Scene 1
THE BRADBERRY CASTLE CRYPT. THE GANG IS STANDING AROUND A SEALED SARCOPHACUS.
GAGE: We’ve searched the whole place and no sign of a clue.
CHRISSY (EXAMINING THE SARCOPHACUS): The date carved on this one is the same as the clue: 1668.
GAGE: J.T., this stone lid rolls back. Give me a hand.
TOGETHER THE TWO MEN PUSH THE LID ASIDE. THE COUNT SITS UP, STARTLING THE GANG.
DINO: Yikes! It’s that powder-faced creep!
COUNT: Who dares disturb my sleep!
J.T. (RUNNING WITH DINO TOWARD A WALL-HUNG TAPESTRY): Every man and lesbian for himself!
AS DINO AND J.T. HIDE BEHIND THE TAPESTRY, THE COUNT CHASES GAGE, CHRISSY, AND SANDY OUT THE CRYPT’S ENTRANCE.
J.T. (STICKING HIS HEAD OUT FROM BEHIND THE TAPESTRY): Looks like we fooled him, Dino! If only we could set a trap for the ghoulish Count.
FROM OFF-STAGE:
SANDY: Chrissy, this way!
GAGE: Back to the crypt!
ON-STAGE:
DINO: Hey, they’re coming back!
DINO GRABS THE TAPESTRY AND TRYS TO PULL IT OFF THE WALL.
J.T.: Whatcha doing?
DINO: Let’s use the tapestry for a trap.
J.T.: Great idea!
J.T. WITH DINO TAKE THE TAPESTRY OFF THE WALL AND WALK IT TO THE ENTRANCEWAY TO THE CRYPT, STANDING PATIENTLY TO ONE SIDE.
GAGE AND THE GIRLS RUSH THROUGH …
J.T.: Now, Dino!
DINO WALKS TO THE OTHERSIDE OF THE DOORWAY WITH THE TAPESTRY LOOSE IN HIS HANDS.
AS J.T. & DINO HEAR THE COUNT APPROACH, THEY RAISE THE TAPESTRY TO COVER THE DOORWAY.
THE TAPESTRY CATCHES THE COUNT, YET HE CONTINUES TO RUN, HIS HEAD TEARING THROUGH THE FABRIC AS HE CONTINUES TO RUN.
THE COUNT DIVES INTO THE STILL OPENED SARCOPHACUS, WHICH SEALS OVER HIM.
GAGE: Come on! We’ve got him trapped!
J.T. JOINS GAGE AT THE SARCOPHACUS LID ALONG WITH SANDY, CHRISSY, AND DINO.
GAGE: OK! Heave!
THIS LID ROLLS BACK TO REVEAL AN EMPTY SARCOPHACUS.
SANDY: It’s empty!
CHRISSY: What are those shining things?
GAGE (REACHING IN AND PULLING HIS HAND OUT): A ruby, a diamond, and a gold hoop earring.
CHRISSY: I’ve seen that earring before …
DINO (WITH A PIECE OF THE TAPESTRY’S FABRIC): Look!
J.T.: Hey, look what Dino’s found (EXAMINING THE FABRIC). Some gems are sewn into a piece of tapestry.
SANDY: That’s what Gage’s clue meant! The Bradberry jewels were sewn into the tapestry.
CHRISSY (HOLDING THE EARRING): The Count took it away, but he left us with this second clue. This earring resembles the one the gypsy fortuneteller was wearing.
J.T.: Is your lipstick lesbian sense tingling?
GAGE: I think we’d better pay her another visit.
LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.
Scene 2
THE FORTUNETELLER’S ROOM.
THE GANG IS STANDING ALONG WITH A SEATED GYPSY AROUND THE CRYSTAL BALL’S TABLE. THE GYPSY IS DRESSED THE SAME, MINUS ONE EARRING.
GYPSY: I’m surprised to see you again, my pretties. Did you enjoy your visit to the castle?
DINO HAS CIRCLED AROUND THE GYPSY’S CHAIR WHILE SHE SPEAKS. HE NOTICES A PIECE OF FABRIC STICKING OUT FROM UNDER HER LEGS.
GAGE: We might ask you the same question.
GYPSY: Me? I never go to the castle…
DINO GRABS THE STRAY FABRIC AND PULLS IT FROM UNERNEATH THE GYPSY.
J.T.: Look! Dino’s got the tapestry!
GYPSY (STANDING WITH THE OTHER END OF THE FABRIC. IN THE COUNT’S VOICE… ): Give me that you air-headed, circuit boy!
WITH A YANK, THE GYPSY/COUNT PULLS THE TAPESTRY FROM DINO AND BOLTS OUT THE ROOM’S CURTAINED DOOR.
LIGHTS FADE…
Scene 3
LIGHTS ARE UP TO SEE THE GYPSY/COUNT RUNNING ACROSS THE STAGE.
OFF-STAGE:
SANDY: Get’im, Dino!
DINO DASHES ON STAGE AND QUICKLY OVER TAKES THE GYPSY/COUNT BY GRABBIING THE TAPESTRY AND PULLING IT FROM HIM, CAUSING THE THIEF TO TRIP AND FALL.
FROM OFF-STAGE A SIREN IS HEARD AND THEN A CAR HALTING. CAR HEADLIGHTS SHINE ON THE SCENE.
J.T.: Good work, Dino
THEY EMBRACE AND KISS
DINO: Not bad for an air-headed, circuit boy, hey?
SANDY: Look, a patrol car!
ENTER A STATE TROOPER.
STATE TROOPER: The caretaker from the castle reported there was some trouble up here. Who’s this on the ground?
GAGE REMOVES THE TURBAN THAT PARTLY COVERS THE THEIF’S FACE.
STATE TROOPER: Why it’s Big Bob Oakley, S/he’s a drag queen gone bad and wanted in seven states. S/he’s otherwise known as The Actor, otherwise known as Shara Spoon, otherwise known as Anita Penn, also known as Monica Tension, also known as …
SANDY: OK, we get it … he and his personas get around!
STATE TROOPER: He’s a master of magic and disguise.
GAGE: The final piece to this puzzle. That explains a lot. He’s been haunting the castle to scare patrons away.
CHRISSY: He was after the Bradberry jewels, which are woven into this tapestry. (SHE HANDS THE TAPESTRY FROM DINO TO THE STATE TROOPER).
BIG BOB: Yes. And, I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for these blasted circuit boys and their dykes!
SANDY: Just remember, Big Bob, when you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
STATE TROOPER: And, Big Bob, you have the right to remain silent … anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. You kids deserve a big thanks (UNHOLSTERING HIS GUN AND HANDCUFFS) I’ll take Oakley and the tapestry into custody.
LIGHTS FADE…
Scene 4
NEXT DAY, OUTSIDE THE CASTLE BY THE ARCHWAY.
A PICNIC IS SET UP ON THE GROUNDS AND J.T., CHIRSSY, SANDY, AND GAGE ARE SEATED AROUND ON A BLANKET MAKING LUNCH.
SANDY: OK, I figured out how Oakley went from Frankenstein to werewolf to the Count; but I still don’t understand how he pulled that trick with the Vampire bat.
J.T.: Yea, we forgot to ask about that (MAKING A DAGWOOD SANDWICH).
CHRISSY (RESPONDING TO A SCREECH): There it is! The Vampire bat!
THAT BAT SWOOPS DOWN FROM THE STAGE’S “SKY” AT THE PICNICERS.
J.T.: It’s heading for my sandwich!
AS THE BAT PASSES BY …
GAGE: It’s only a stuffed bat on a wire, you guys.
DINO (STEPPING FROM BEHIND SOME BUSHES, HOLDING A REMOTE-CONTROL BOX): Yea, controlled by this remote I found near the castle’s entrance when I went to find our luggage.
J.T.: Hey, let me look at that.
DINO: Sure.
AS DINO HANDS J.T. THE REMOTE BOX, J.T. HANDS DINO HIS DAGWOOD SANDWICH TO ACCOMMODATE HOLDING THE BOX.
IMMEDIATELY, DINO BEGINS TO EAT J.T.’S SANDWICH.
J.T. (NOTICING HIS SANDWICH IS HALF EATEN): Dino! I always knew you were a bit batty!
DINO (LICKS HIS LIPS AND LAUGHS): A carnivore through and through.
HE HOWLS LIKE A WEREWOLF AND ALL BURST INTO LAUGHTER …
LIGHTS TO BLACK.
THE END
Original NYC Poster for
“A Dragged Out Haunting” Premiere
Original NYC Cast of “A Dragged Out Haunting”
About the Author:
Born in the Midwest, raised in the Northeast, writer/author/play and screenwriter, E. Robert Dunn began writing at the age of 14 and continued through his higher education in the Southeast where he currently resides. In addition to penning the science fiction series “Echelon’s End”, E. Robert has also written two off-Broadway plays, “LipSync” and “A Dragged Out Haunting”, and solo-penned the short-play entitled “VOiCES”. Additional works include, “The World We Live In”, “The Life Of Another”, and “Are You Happy?”. E. Robert was a contributing writer to the online STAR TREK: Odyssey’s Season One Finale webisode [featured in STARLOG Magazine, January 2008, “Beyond Hidden Frontiers”, p.89]. E. Robert has become a regular at science fiction convention events on panels and participating in book signings/readings.
Besides being a produced playwright and published author, E. Robert has had articles printed in local newspapers as well as medical newsletters. He has also graced many a stage by his given name: Eston Dunn. He is the founder of the nonprofit organization artsUnited, Inc. A recent project is founding another non-profit online webcasting charity to educate while entertaining through programs that unite those that are separated by the walls of stereotyping, prejudice, and bigotry (www.watchoutweb.org).
His website is:
https://erobertdunn.com
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